Stop Me Before I Smack Someone!

Well – that title doesn’t really match the image here, does it?  It was one of those days when I had to remind myself to behalf like a Christian.  But you know when you have a really sweet smile and you say all the right things to people, but the conversation going on in your head is totally different?  Yeah – that was me today.

This originally started out “…shoot someone” instead of “…smack.”  I changed it because I didn’t want anyone to think I was a crazy, slightly over middle aged old lady out to start spraying lead.  I get all my frustrations out here so I don’t run around smacking people (or worse!).

Here’s the story (and it’s the second time this has happened to me) –

Stephanie and I went to the grocery store today.  At the beginning of the month, I tend to spoil everyone and buy a lot of groceries, so my cart was really full.  I was at the front of the checkout conveyer belt, then the card, and then Stephanie was at the end of the belt.  Stephanie and I put several things on the belt.  The checkout clerk kept running the belt forward so she didn’t have to reach (which is why they have the moving belts, right?)

Then a woman moves in behind us.  She’s behind Steph, so she reaches over to get one of the stick things that keep me from paying for her groceries.  When she turned around to get something from her cart, the clerk moved the belt up (which put her stick right in front of me), so I moved her stick to the end of the belt and continued putting my stuff on the belt.  Woman behind me (WBM) continues to load the belt with her stuff.  And the clerk continues to move the belt forward.  This leaves me about 1 foot of space for 2/3 of a cart of groceries.  So when WBM turned around to her cart again, I slid her stick (and cans of food) back.  The belt moved, I’m out of room, she turned around, I slid her stuff.  This happened about 4 times.  By now, Steph is no help at all.  She’s just laughing at me.

Then, I realize Steph isn’t laughing; she looks a little…shocked.  And irritated.  Apparently WBM doesn’t realize that we’re not finished, because she’s pushing herself and her cart into Steph.  I guess she thought if she bumped into her enough, Steph would move.  The problem was, she didn’t have anywhere to go, so she was being sandwiched between WBM and my cart – which was still about 1/4 full.  Finally, before Steph had permanent bruising, I leaned around her and said, “I know I’m really slow today, but I promise I’ll be out of your way in a minute!”  What I thought was, “What’s your problem, you crazy old lady???  Can you not see that I don’t have enough space here for all my stuff, and yours keeps moving forward, so soon there won’t be anywhere to put mine?  And I’d be finished by now if I didn’t have to keep moving your blasted groceries every time the belt moves.”

I guess that brought her up short, because she apologized and backed off a little.  We finally got finished and headed to the car.  I decided to put the bags in the trunk – which still has at least one gym bag, some tools and other assorted stuff the man hasn’t put away yet.  But the groceries would still fit if we finagled it right.  We were doing quite well and were down to the last three bags when “Bagger of the Day” (BOTD) showed up.  BOTD wanted my cart.  He was ready to bring all the carts in, and I guess he didn’t trust me to make sure mine was actually in the corral after he left.  So he decided to “help.”

BOTD grabbed a bag out of my cart and started to put it in the trunk.  BOTD had grabbed the bag with two muffins.  I was going to put my bag of canned goods there and put the muffins on top of that.  (Because, of course, the other way around would smoosh my muffins.)  “Wait!”  I said to BOTD.  “That’s the spot for this bag.  Take that bag back.”  BOTD looked a little taken aback.  Apparently no one has thwarted his trunk packing before, but he did pull his bag out.  And he handed it to me.  (So now I had two bags.)  And he handed me the last one from the cart.  (Now I have three.  And I’m still trying to put everything in the trunk.)  Again – Steph is laughing.  Then BOTD hands me my purse so he can take the cart.  I just look at him.  What’s going through my head is, “How do you expect me to take that when I have my hands full already and I’m trying to put these in the trunk?  Would you just go away and leave me alone???”  I think the word “halfwit” was also in that thought process.  What I actually said was, “I’m not ready to take my purse.  I’m trying to fit the groceries in the car.  Wait just a second, please.”  Steph pulled herself together long enough to take my purse from him.  Good thing, because I may have whacked him with it.

So we finally got in the car and got safely home.  I kept thinking, “Why was everyone in such a hurry to get me out of there?  Did I buy too much?  Did Wesley put everyone up to this as a practical joke?  Did I look like a nutcase who was going to ‘go off’ on everyone?”  Well, admittedly, by the time I finished with BOTD, I probably did look like a nutcase.

So I needed this card today to remind me that even when everyone else is acting like an idiot, I need to remember to cut them some slack and give a little grace – not join in and also act like an idiot.  I mean, that’s how people get smacked.  And wars get started.  Right?

This is the card that brought back my sanity and reason.  It’s a swap from Stephanie Osgood, my friend in Iowa.

Click on photo to view larger image.

Stamps:  Easter Dove; Ink:  VersaMark; Paper:  Whisper White, Blushing Bride card stock; Twitterpated designer series paper; Other:  Big Shot, Labels framelits, Stampin’ Pastels, Pear Pizzazz Seam Binding Ribbon, Adorning Accents embossing folder, Frost White shimmer mist

When we swap, we usually just send card fronts, so this needs to be added to a card.  Stephanie suggests Whisper White.  I just wanted to post it because it’s so gorgeous, so I haven’t added it to a card yet.  This is so simple but so elegant.  Stephanie used the versamark to stamp the image/sentiment, then used the “Poppin’ Pastels” technique to add color and pull out the image.  It’s like the magic picture books we had when I was younger.  The paper looked blank, but when you colored over it with a pencil, the picture appeared.  (It’s a great spy technique, too, but that’s another story.)

Stephanie has an embossed row of hearts under the ribbon, and the Blushing Bride layer is covered with shimmer mist.  It’s so pretty in person, because you can really see the shimmer.

More good news today – you can now download a free 30-day trial version of My Digital Studio Express!  Just go to my web site and click My Digital Studio Express Trial.  A page of frequently asked questions is here.

Thanks for stopping by!  Have a wonderful day.

About buffycooper

Among other things, I am a musician who enjoys papercrafting (specifically with rubber stamps), a Stampin' Up!® demonstrator, Christian, wife and mom to two great boys.
This entry was posted in Framelits, Occasions Mini Catalog, Stampin' Up!® News, Swaps, Techniques and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Stop Me Before I Smack Someone!

  1. Sandy says:

    Oh my, the day from _____ — somewhere unpleasant! Hope today is better for you. I’ve come across similar incidents. I guess some people are really too impatient and not very attentive — or maybe she can’t see well at all!!! But, you have a beautiful card here from a friend. Glad that made your day better. And it is very pretty. I have to see it in person. See ya soon. Hugs — sandy


  2. Pat Smith says:

    You do have a way with words!!! Loved the story…have had much the same experiences in line myself…I have managed to keep my mouth shut, but REALLY wanted to “pop off” to the person encroaching! Hope today is a better day! Hugs and Blessings!


  3. Mom says:

    I, too, have had this happen……… fact, I wonder how many times I have been the ‘culprit’….we all want to get out of the grocery story a.s.a.p………… painful these days!!!! I laughed myself silly over your version……….it was even better and more humorous written than the verbal version you gave me yesterday. You are a gifted writer. (As well as a gifted stamper and MDS’er!!!!!!). Love you!!!!


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